Sunday, December 20, 2015

The Only Thing I Have Achieved Is To Make You Miserable

Patiently waiting
for breakfast
on a normal day
Anna's still has the throat infection that started just before Diwali. The doctor decided not to give him any medication and advised steam inhalation 2-3 times a day.  We have been doing this religiously.

Then one morning, around 9:30am, I get a desperate call from his attendant saying that Anna is refusing to eat breakfast and have his medication.

I run to his place to find Anna sitting stubbornly away from the dining table. He, like an ostrich with its head in the sand, has his eyes closed, thinking that if he can not see us we are not there.

Me: Anna? What's the problem? Why are you not eating breakfast?   Pause.

Anna: I don't want to eat breakfast.

Me: Anna, you need to eat breakfast so that you can have your medication.   Pause.

Anna: I don't want to have medication.

Pills and Pill Boxes
Having been thru' this conversation chain many times before, I try what has been successful before.

Me: Anna, if you don't want to take all the pills, I can take out just the Carbidopa-Levodopa for you.

Normally this works, as Anna knows that he has to have his critical Parkinson's medication, without which he stiffens up and can not walk. However, this time I get no response much less an affirmative one. He continues to sit like the Buddha.

Me: Anna, you do need to have your Syndopa Plus (the brand name of the Carbidopa-Levodopa formula he uses).

Anna: I don't want to.

Me: Anna you know that having Syndopa is critical. You have to eat something before taking it.

Anna: I've had coffee.

Me: Anna, that was at 7am! You have to have something more substantial.

Then there is a long break. We are at impasse. He won't eat, and I don't know what to say or do.

And then Anna says: If I don't eat and have medicine, I can die faster.

Oh boy! Now what do I do?
I decide to ignore this statement, and talk about food.

Me (trying to tempt him): Anna, shall I make uppitu (upma) for breakfast?

Anna: No. I don't want breakfast.
Anna's jar of Nutella
I run down all the options and get a simple "No" to all of them. No poha. No daliya. No omlette and toast. No dry fruits and oats. No cornflakes and fruit. No sooji. No to everything.

If I wasn't worried and frustrated, I'd be angry at this childishness!!

Then I ask, Anna, will you have a slice of toast with something? Peanut butter? Jam? Chocolate spread?

I hit pay dirt. His eyes open. He looks at me. He says Chocolate spread.

Before he can change his mind, we move him to the dining table, and quickly put Nutella on hot toast. He eats it with glee. After he finishes it, he licks his sticky chocolate-peppered fingers.  And then has his medication.

Me: Anna, will you now have a nap?

Anna: Yes.

Pause.  Long Pause as he slow walks / shuffles to sit on his bed.

Anna: Sangeeta, so all I achieved was to make you miserable.

Yes dad. You did.

And I know you are going to do it again.....

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